Mixed Feelings

*WARNING: Male reader discretion is advised. (This is a very girly and somewhat personal [T.M.I.] post.)

I only have a few (which may end up being more because of my mixed feelings) days left before Spencer is done nursing. We are down to one feeding a day, and he is ready to be done. I am just waiting to be sure that I am ready to be done. I don't think that I am alone in this feeling. I believe that most nursing mothers love the feelings that come with nursing a child (closeness, bonding, being needed), not to mention the convenience, weight loss (although I am skeptical about this one), menstrual (for some), and skin-saving benefits that are also involved. I have loved nursing both of my kids, although I couldn't tell you exactly what is so great about it or why it's so hard to stop. In fact, I threatened to quit nursing I think three times with Spencer (and once with Ethan), but I just couldn't make myself do it. I guess I thought that whatever feelings I was getting from nursing were worth the seemingly endless case of thrush we had, the two (really three) cases of mastitis I had, and the continuous (really, the ENTIRE time) problems that came from eczema of the nipples. Again, I can't explain why I would put myself through this amount of pain in the past year just to feed my child when there was an alternative. All I know is that I still don't want to give it up even though it is the time that I originally planned to be done. Darn mixed feelings! They almost make me want another baby (don't worry, that will NOT happen). It's time they come up with a pill that makes you think you are nursing when you're not. That would solve all of my problems today and would have made the past year so much more comfortable!