Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Mixed Feelings

*WARNING: Male reader discretion is advised. (This is a very girly and somewhat personal [T.M.I.] post.)

I only have a few (which may end up being more because of my mixed feelings) days left before Spencer is done nursing. We are down to one feeding a day, and he is ready to be done. I am just waiting to be sure that I am ready to be done. I don't think that I am alone in this feeling. I believe that most nursing mothers love the feelings that come with nursing a child (closeness, bonding, being needed), not to mention the convenience, weight loss (although I am skeptical about this one), menstrual (for some), and skin-saving benefits that are also involved. I have loved nursing both of my kids, although I couldn't tell you exactly what is so great about it or why it's so hard to stop. In fact, I threatened to quit nursing I think three times with Spencer (and once with Ethan), but I just couldn't make myself do it. I guess I thought that whatever feelings I was getting from nursing were worth the seemingly endless case of thrush we had, the two (really three) cases of mastitis I had, and the continuous (really, the ENTIRE time) problems that came from eczema of the nipples. Again, I can't explain why I would put myself through this amount of pain in the past year just to feed my child when there was an alternative. All I know is that I still don't want to give it up even though it is the time that I originally planned to be done. Darn mixed feelings! They almost make me want another baby (don't worry, that will NOT happen). It's time they come up with a pill that makes you think you are nursing when you're not. That would solve all of my problems today and would have made the past year so much more comfortable!


mommyofthree said...

I know exactly what you're talking about. It's bittersweet to stop nursing. You know, you could continue until he has to go to Kindergarten if you want to. You don't HAVE to stop. :)

gma dibb said...

I know how you are feeling. It was hard for me to stop nursing my babies too. For me it was one of the sweetest experiences of motherhood. I am amazed that you have stuck with it through the pain and problems you have had.

Scrap Chair Potato said...

Are you totally done with nursing now?